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20 Feb 2019

I Can't Be That Blogger Girl

You may or may not have noticed that I have been a bit MIA over round these parts (and everywhere online really) lately and it is no surprise really because I do tend to go missing online quiet a lot. My blogging life is full of peaks and troughs, although the troughs are much wider than the peaks if you know what I mean. 

I started blogging way back in 2013 when blogging as it is now did not exist. The only bloggers I knew were Louise Pentland and Zoella and now the market is SO saturated with so much talent. Regular people started making careers out of this, brand collaborations became a thing, Instagram became a jungle of it's own and it became a hell of a lot more competitive. 

When I began blogging I did it as a hobby, as a place to write about things I have done and things I enjoy, a place to store memories and chat with like minded people. At the time blogs didn't look like magazines and I didn't feel like the pictures I took had to be Vogue worthy. It was a simpler time where I just did what I wanted with my blog without worrying if it was 'up to standard'.

As time went on and blogging became more of a career path I started to compare my blog to all these blogs that were emerging around me. Beautiful flatlays and gorgeous OOTD's became the regular on my bloglovin' feed. No matter how hard I tried I could not be satisfied with any flatlays I took and I just didn't have the style, charisma or the photographer to share photos of me casually strolling street corners.

I have felt like I need to be that kind of blogger. Y'know the stylish one with the gorgeous Instagram feed of them wearing stylish outfits in super instagrammable locations. I have tried to be that person, I've asked my boyfriend to take photos of me whilst in public and he really doesn't mind but when it comes down to it that's just not me. 

I don't enjoy posing for a photo 26 times in front of a flower shop. I'd rather just go for a stroll and talk to my boyfriend. Sure, I like clothes but not enough to always have Topshops new arrivals just so I can share them online.  

I am SHIT at instagram lately and really have lost my mojo, I just feel like there is no point because it's virtually impossible to grow. I never tweet either, I'm a total introvert and find it difficult to initiate conversations,  I know I need to get over this because I really do want to interact with like minded people, that was one of the reasons I started all this back in 2013. 

Don't even talk to me about SEO, google analytics, affiliate links etc etc, I have no idea how any of that works and is it bad if I say I'm not really interested in finding out? I find it stressful and I literally do not have the time to be worrying about all that, if I could find time to simply blog and interact with other blogs I'd be pretty darn happy. 

I just feel like when it comes to my blog everywhere I look all I see is 'to be a good blogger you have to be this, this and this' you gotta post to instagram twice a day with perfectly posed photos, you must buy such a persons hashtag bundle, you gotta learn SEO, have a media kit and pitch to at least 5 brands a day. 

It's just exhausting.

You're probably thinking, Sinead why don't you just quit then?! and I guess I do quit for weeks on end but every time I do, I miss it. I miss having this creative outlet. This place that is mine, that I am the boss of, a place where I can let my thoughts pour out and create whatever I want. 

I love my blog so much and I don't ever want to leave it. 

The ultimate dream for this blog is to have a place where I feel comfortable to write whatever I want without wondering if it's up to standard or if it will be 'successful' 

Of course I want to grow my followers and I would love to work with more brands but I don't want to have to turn myself into that typical 'blogger' girl to achieve that because it's not me and I don't enjoy it. 

I don't know if it's possible to make this little space successful without studying my google analytics and doing all those business things that proper bloggers do but I am just going to try do me from now on and see what happens. 

Sinéad x

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