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18 Sep 2018

GIRL TALK | 10 Things I'd Tell My Teenage Self About Relationships

1. You don't need a boyfriend yet (or ever!)

My first point is probably the one that made me want to write this post in the first place. When I was like 15 I felt like I was in a race against time to get a boyfriend, as if the longer it took me the less valuable of a person I was. WRONG. You do not need a boyfriend to validate you as a person now or ever! In fact, you should never need anyone else's approval. You are enough and wonderful just as you are.

2. Just because he doesn't like you doesn't mean you aren't amazing

Oh God, how I wish I could go back and give teenage Sinéad a friendly slap. Girl, I couldn't count on one hand the amount of times I liked a guy who didn't like me back and it ALWAYS got to me. Why wasn't I pretty enough or cool enough? What is wrong with me? are just some of the thoughts that kept me awake at night. 

3. Boys are way less mature than us girls

This point kinda resolves point 2. The reasons boys don't seem to give you all that much attention is because boys mature more slowly than girls and often times they are just not interested in getting into a romantic relationship yet. Oh and if the guy you like doesn't appreciate your amazing personality and goes for the most beautiful girl in the school instead, well those priorities just show his level of maturity. 

4. If he treats you badly once, dump him!

Oh boy, if I could go back and relive my first relationship it would end a helleva lot sooner. I can't believe I let him treat me the way he did all because I thought I'd never get another boyfriend. If he does something lousy once, pack it in, show how much you respect yourself and set the standard for future boyfriends. 

5. Having a boyfriend doesn't increase your value

Silly young Sinéad actually believed that the girls in school who had a boyfriend were better and worth more than those who didn't. HOW CRAZY A NOTION. I don't even know where to start with how wrong this is so I'm not even going to try.

6. Don't do something just because all your friends have

Your first kiss, for example, is something you will always remember and unfortunately for me, and most people I would suspect, it is not a pleasant memory. In fact, it's horrific and one I try not to ever think about. It was in a dark and packed disco with a boy I had zero interest in and who had zero interest in me. But he was up for it and I felt like the last person in my year to get the shift (Irish slang for french kiss) uuuhh Sinéad, ok I need to stop remembering that moment now.

7. How a boy treats you is not a reflection of yourself

GIRL YOU NEED TO LEARN THIS EARLY. You deserve so much better than an idiot who treats you badly, you are amazing, smart and beautiful and don't ever let anyone make you feel like you're not. Remember point 3. Boys just aren't as mature as you yet and don't know what a good thing they've got.

8. Do not settle on the first guy who gives you the eye

When you're young and desperate to get a boyfriend because all of your friends have had one it is so easy to say yes to the first guy who shows interest. But if you don't truly find him attractive or interesting then don't go there. You might end up missing out on a guy who you are way more compatible with if you just wait a little longer. 

9. Don't force things in a relationship

Right, you've finally got in to a relationship waheey! Now it's all about hitting those milestones. Saying 'I love you', having sex, weekends away (if you can unknownst to your parents) Girl, do not force these things to happen because you're dying to do them for the first time or because you want to validate your relationship. Take.your.time.

10. Never change yourself for a boy

Honestly, I wasn't too bad for this one as a teen. I was unable to get rid of my awkward ha. But I feel like it is a point that needs to be made as it's something I will definitely be telling my nieces as they approach adolescence. Please do not lose yourself in the quest for a boyfriend, your individuality is SO much more important and valuable. Be yourself and the rest will fall in to place.

Hindsight is a great thing, isn't it?! If you could tell your teenage self one thing about relationships what would it be? Let me know in the comments section. I'm compiling a list to show my nieces when they're teens hehe, what a cool auntie I am.

Sinéad x

NOTE: I am discussing a heterosexual relationship in this blog post because that's what I have experienced, however lots of these points can be altered for whatever you're into and no exclusion was intended.

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