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22 Jul 2015

Mid-Week Rambles | Stress, Decisions, Life!

Hey my blogging friends! So the 1am itch to write a blog post has struck yet again and there's no way I can go to sleep until I scratch it. By scratch it I mean write a random rambling post about my life, and all the feels I have at the moment. Ahh this is always so theraputic. So here it goes, time to let those thoughts fall out of my head and on to the screen!

So speaking of my head, it is all over the place at the moment. It is full of stress about the future, namely, my career. If you don't know this, I'm a secondary school teacher. I'm currently unemployed. I finished up my last job for the summer and have nothing lined up to go back to. It is SO difficult to get a teaching job in my country, and getting a permanent one only comes after years of moving from school to school building up experience doing cover and substitute work. Man do I have a fun career path ahead of me *not* It honestly causes me so much worry not knowing a) when I will get my next job b) where it could possibly be, and c) when in my life will I be settled in one place for good and finally be 'sorted' finally have reached 'happiness' I am so scared of the unknown. I'd much rather have it all planned out, but that's not possible.

Now, after applying for so many positions I have been offered an interview in a school 3 hours away from where I live and I don't even know if I want to go to it. I mean, it's a 3 hour drive and it's on at 10 am. I mean there's no way I would drive that far and there are no buses that early. I wouldn't mind that if I actually thought there was a chance of getting the job, I would find a way. But my chances are extremely slim. It's a mostly Irish speaking school and since I am not a fluent Irish speaker I would be at a big disadvantage. Also, the board of management in that location is equal opportunities so it has to interview all applicants. The experience of an interview would be great but is it really worth going that far for something that's very unlikely to come good? These thoughts are messing up my head even more. Why can't I just be confident and believe in the possibility that I could actually get this job? I am far too much of a realist. I really wish I was a go-getter. Sometimes, I think I need to take a leap of faith and believe in the impossible. But honestly, I don't know what to do. 

That's life I guess. It's stressful and full of difficult choices.

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