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25 May 2014

Random Ramblings | Boys Rating Girls

Something happened a couple of weeks ago which at the time, didn't affect me too much. It didn't upset me or ruin my night in any way. But as time has passed I've found myself repeatedly recalling the incident, over analyzing  it and trying to figure out how it is I feel about it.

Some of my college friends and I were going out for the night. There was three of us girls and three of our really good guy friends.

We started off the night with a few 'pre-drinks' in a house where two of the guys were staying. There was quite a few other people there who we didn't know. There was one other girl who lived in the house too and there was about three other guys. I'm presuming they were friends with our guy friends that live in the house.

We were all quickly introduced to each other and started our little house party. Our  group of friends from college stuck together, chatting, dancing, taking selfies, being silly and having lots of fun. It really was on of the best nights out with them.

Then one of my girl friends probably thought we should talk to the other three guys and get to know them a bit. Just being polite she said "ok so lets see if I remember - you're Matt, Darren and David?" (I'm just making those names up as I don't remember!)

The guys congratulated her for remembering so well and then one of them said "and you're 4, 6 and 8" followed by the cheekiest laughs you would ever hear.

Ashamedly, my first thought was - there is no way that one of us is a 4 or even a 6. We were all dressed up really nicely and if I do say so myself we looked hot! One thing I knew for sure was that even on their bad days my two friends are at least a 7.

My next thought was - I wonder which one I am. Am I the 4, 6 or the 8? I actually felt a bit sad for a moment at the thought that there was a possibility they thought I was a 4.

Then, the next thing that crossed my mind was how these guys were complete and utter douche bags. The more I think about it the more annoyed I am with myself for my initial response. Why should I care one bit what they thought of me? I didn't know them, I wasn't attracted to any of them and as if I would need approval from people so immature and disrespectful.

I didn't think about it for very long on the night, I continued to have fun with the two girls and the three other guys who were actually my friends.

Then a couple of days later I remembered the brief exchange and it's honestly been nibbling at me ever since.

I am totally aware that guys rate girls all the time. It doesn't overly bother me because at the end of the day, no matter how chauvinist and sexist it is, it is only banter. Most of them wouldn't dream of saying it in front of, or directly to a girl because they have that bit of respect.

But apparently these guys didn't. That's what gets me the most. The sheer lack of respect for the three of us. The way they viewed us as a 'thing' that could be rated on a scale of 1 to 10 based solely on our physical appearance. Whilst we were having fun, they were sitting there judging us like we were dogs in a dog show.

Has something like this ever happened to you? What are your opinions on boys rating girls, and girls rating boys?
 Do you think its OK to do it once you still show respect for the person or do you think none of it is acceptable? I would love to hear your opinions in the comments.

Add your comment

Emily Allen said...

This has never happened to me but wow I'm not surprised that's gotten to you it would really have affected me, I hate how it's just "banter" for guys to objectify women like that, I definitely don't think it's ok for them to do that and just disrespectful xx


Ellabella said...

What dickheads ... Yeah guys do this.... I wonder what they expected when they said this ? A pat on the back ?


Emerald Dove said...

This is dreadful. Well done for posting about it, I think the more people speak out against these kinda things, the less socially acceptable it will become. :)

Anna said...

Gosh, absolute douche bags without a doubt! That is so disrespectful! I don't think it's right that anyone should rate anyone, like you said...we aren't things :) hope you're okay now after getting this off your chest :) xxxx

Anna said...

P.s. Is the photo you've used of the pretty little liars girls? :) Emily, spencer & hanna?! Xx

Sinead said...

Not sure who they are hun haha! I don't watch PLL. I found the picture on We Heart It <3 xxx

Meg Kernaghan said...

This post, thank you.
This described the feeling I have when I go out drinking with people from uni, there are always some people you've never met before and it's good to meet new people but at the same time I've come to be really reluctant to let the males come anywhere near me until I've sussed out their body language and the way they treat people. Because drinking young men can be really vicious and I'm not going out or dressing up for them. I am going out for me, and I am dressed up for me.

This is actually the worst thing, I've never had a boy actually say anything like this to one of my friends or I but I think it's a really universal attitude among young men. You have every right to be annoyed at it and I wouldn't ever see them again!
It's good that you are calling them out one way or the other, too often girls are disrespected and they just don't say anything.

The picture is Pretty Little Liars but I like it because when I watch that show I enjoy that the girls are all really beautiful in unique ways so you can't really rate them against each other :)

laura Syme said...

This has actually happened to me before and it's so horrible! I don't know why certain boys feel the need to rate girls, it's like they have the upper hand and put us in our place. I hate that they saw you as numbers not actual people. No wonder it's been playing on your mind.

Sinead said...

Don't worry, I won't be seeing them again. I don't even remember their names or what they looked like. But it was something that was on my mind so I thought I'd let it all out on my blog!

Yeah guys that you don't know on nights out can often have 'dutch courage' and say anything to a girl. I don't think they would have said it if we were their friends y'know!

It is so wrong though! xxx

Anonymous said...

I don't think guys should rate girls at all. Not everyone has the same taste or opinions on beauty, and honestly the most important thing is liking how you look. Obviously, it is hard to ignore when other people have opinions on how you look, and in fact I had a nightmare that I was being judged for what I was wearing last night... It's totally unfair to you that this happened, and if it had happened to me I probably would have been super upset right away.

Madeline | Ring-a-Round a Rosey | Bloglovin’


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